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Any program that helps individuals confront phobias (and social phobia is as real as any) always focuses on gradual exposure to increasingly stronger episodes of that person's worse fear (desensitization) in an attempt to convince the mind of the harmlessness of the stimulus -- which is always far less that perceived. But perception is reality, if it's real for your mind, then it's real.

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***QUESTION***

Let me preface this by saying that I agree 100% with your ideas. I realized the cocky and funny principles in high school, when I noticed a good friend got laid constantly because he just naturally had that routine down. He always laughed about it - the less he appeared to care about getting laid, the more he got laid. Pure magic.

But I'm just curious if there are women who are actually turned off by the cocky and funny routine. I've always liked smart, nerdy girls - the librarian archetype - and I'm a little leery that these women might not be so impressed with the C&F. Nobody likes a wuss, of course, but I'm wondering about the women who aren't so easily manipulated. How about some failure stories? When doesn't this stuff work so well, and are there things to watch for to keep from going too far with it?

» MY COMMENTS:

First of all, Cocky & Funny isn't a super-secret, covert manipulation tactic. It's a way of flirting, teasing, and interacting with women that they enjoy.

Second, I've found that the only women who DON'T respond well to it are women who are UPTIGHT, women who aren't at all interested, or overly SHY women who are intimidated (in which case you can usually just tone it down and have fun with them too).

That's my personal experience.

Smart, nerdy girls like the ones you're attracted to (I'm glad you have that market cornered, by the way) should LOVE to spar with you and will probably LOVE your Cocky & Funny attitude. Keep it intellectual.

There will ALWAYS be situations in life when things don't work for you.

Tiger woods screws up a lot of shots, and he's the best in the world at golf.

Michael Jordan misses a lot of shots, and he's the best in the world at BBall.

We don't live in an ideal testing lab, we live in reality.

Don't worry about what won't work, and find what will.

The thing to watch for to keep from going too far with Cocky & Funny is a woman getting VISIBLY ANGRY or asking you to leave. If that happens, walk away.

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